You are doing the very best for your child with the information you have now. Try your best to turn off any guilt or negative self talk. I had a highly traumatic pregnancy and birth with my first too, and it took me so long to recover and to be able to feel ok about it. I know exactly what that feels like. frown I'm so sorry.

I bet it won't take long for him to thrive at home! My son was like a new kid once we brought him home.