Our nephew is/was like your daughter. The age around 4 was the most difficult to him. His father has a quite strict way with him and it helped. Always when he was getting to be "too much" he took him alone to another room and discussed his behavior, how he should try to calm down and also tried to explain to him how other ppl need more space. Then they came back and he was bit calmer for a while (then he was "too much" again and they went to another room again...). Traditional punishments did not work well with him as he is very emotionally sensitive. He is 8 now and still the same boy full of energy, idea's and joy but he is not "too much" anymore. In other occasion I would not like to mention this but he has always been our favorite of DHs sisters kids. I would get sometimes tired of him loving me so much and so enthusiastically but at the end of the day his energy was/is so positive it made others happy too. He seems to be very popular amongst his classmates, he seems like a born leader. He is the kid who invents the funniest games and everybody wants to be his friend. He still needs to go out to run 2x day at least for 1h each time. They live in very cold climate and still are able to make it happen. I understand you don't like cold as I don't either but some kids (mine included) really need lot of outside time.
I wanted to tell you this as I'm sure there are parents and kids who appreciate your DDs energy and are actually drawn to her because of it. It should get better when she grows up. In the mean time could you have her do some sports everyday. I'm not sure if it would help her but maybe try a schedule where you write down together with her when is time for what.
