I've tried describing that to my 6 yr old so child can know that the feelings will come and then they will go. It is only for a moment and not forever/constant. Because that's what I wished someone had told me o so long ago.
Jesse, I can really relate to this with regards to my own childhood and teen years.
Grinity, thanks, as always, for your words of encouragement and understanding.
Ds and I talked this afternoon and he said he feels like his body takes over when he has a meltdown and says:
"I'm going to do a meltdown even though you told me not to, brain!" I told him it is ok to have a meltdown if that's what it takes to release his tension. He said he feels like a bomb that's going to explode. I told him it's ok as long as he goes to his room to calm down. Once he's calm I'm more than willing to talk to him. I think if he can let himself off the hook and believe that no one is mad at him about the meltdown, he'll get over it even faster. I truly believe he can't help it. With other issues, he's had no problem learning to control himself with consistent consequences and/or rewards. With this, nothing helps, and that's probably b/c he isn't able to control it. As it is, it usually lasts 5-10 minutes, and then he's a new man. It really is a release for him. He says his heart starts beating really fast and his head hurts, and he needs to get it out. I've been there, so I want him to know that I love him even if he loses control. I sure wish we could help him find a more constructive way to deal with his frustration and anger, but for now this is what he has to work with.
On a very positive note, today at 2:45, ds started running around the house acting wild and impulsive. I said, "you know, I see a meltdown coming. You tend to have one around 3:00 a lot of days." So, I asked if he wanted to sit down and have a snack together. We did, and he was great. He even said, "A lot of times, when I have a meltdown you give me food and I feel a lot better. Maybe I just need to eat before the meltdown starts." Well, there's an idea!!! LOL I try, but he's not one to tell me if he's hungry, and on many days 3:00 is a very hectic time. I'm going to make sure to have a snack on hand, even though I'm not sure that's really the trigger.
Thanks again for everyone's input. I think this turned out to be a great thread with lots of great insight and info.
