as an antidote to all the comments about smart, pretty, or talented these kids are, I think it would be helpful for us as parents to make sure to point out things to them like their kindness, their ability to listen, their creativity, etc.
I grew up being "rewarded" for being attractive (even modeled a little bit), artistic, smart, and athletic, and it became a prison. All these things are positive, but they were outward and often required an audience and I started to feel obligated at different points in my life to live up to these things although my parents never drove me in any way. I just felt the world valued me for these things and not for anything deep inside. I still feel awful that I didn't do these earthshattering things people expected me to do with my "talent."
Like your DD, my DD is also pretty with long blonde hair and has been on a local magazine cover (people tried to encourage me to put her into modeling, but I won't, I just did this on a lark when we were asked), but her personality just doesn't fit the "pretty girl" image in a way that is a relief to me. She is very outspoken, likes dinosaurs, stands up for herself, etc.
I think we as parents can set examples about what we value about ourselves and others and when other people comment on how pretty they are, we can chime in about other traits so they at least know they are more than a pretty face.
Sorry ... I missed your comment. I 100% agree with you. We already do this with DD. We feel it is important to embrace all of yourself and not focus on just looks. We encourage her kindness and creativity, along with many other traits. I'm an artist and she has been wanting to paint with me on big canvases with my paint. I've promised her that when it warms up we will get the easel out and paint together. I'm actually very excited about it and can't wait to see what we create together. However it turns out, I will definitely display it.
