Welcome to Perfectionism. It's one heckuva ride!
The one thing that keeps us moving forward, past the emotional outbursts and the "I can'ts" is praising the attempts rather than praising the achievements. For example, "I really like how you sat down and tried to do X this way." Instead of "Awesome, you got X right!". Also, erase perfect from your vocabulary!
We also continually point out things that DH and I are not really that good at, but that we still do because we enjoy it... it's ok to lose or not get it right.
DS got a 2 on his magnet paper last week. He was so upset. The reason he didn't get a 3 (basically an A) is because he didn't slow down and pay attention to which side he was putting the things that were picked up by magnets and which weren't. So instead of praising just the work he does when he gets things right, we point out the neat handwriting from taking his time, or the thought that went into the process instead of just the end result.
In our house, it's a-ok not to be the winner or get all the answers right. It really helps lessen the meltdowns from DS6 (and ME)!!!!
Oh, and DS plays baseball. He's CLEARLY not the best on the team... but he is improving, and he is really beginning to enjoy it. Sports may be our thing to get him to understand that he can't always be the best. He's not quite the athletic type.
