College was a big shock for him. Did we turn out ok? Yes, but not without some very painful lessons that would have been better learned much much sooner.
The Fact is that most ND kids, at least in the US nowadays, are learning to 'apply themselves' to their school work as young as 3rd grade, if not earlier. If I had a choice between my particular child learning to read in college and apply himself in elementary school, or learning to read in elementary school and apply himself in college, I would value 'apply himself' as the more important lifeskill to start learning early.
I didn't feel this way when my son was in First Grade. I was confident that he would do well academically, and my value, very consiously was for him to fit in and be a 'good classroom citizen.' LOL on me for being determined to make that work. I am so grateful that my son taught me, through his behavior, that their are levels of giftedness, and that 'fitting in as best as possible at all costs,' while good enough for me, simply wasn't going to work for him.
He rarely acted out physically, so I don't know why I picture him throwing chairs across the 2nd grade classroom, but in my mental cartoon version of the past, there is me, telling the 2nd grade teacher: 'My main concern is that he learn to be a good classroom citizen' with the teacher nodding enthusiastically and DS in the backround of the picture throwing a chair.
So, some of us learn to advocate inspite of our values. I think life is all about growing and gaining fresh perspectives. I think it took me getting hit with a few 'imaginary chairs' before I remembered what my own elementary experience had been like. I do still value my son being a good classroom citizen, BTW, but post-advocacy (dare I type that?) he is in reasonable fit classrooms, with outside social opportunities, and doesn't have to sacrifice any key parts of himself to fufill that value.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
