Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Underachiever with no motivation

I think learning motivation is a process that takes time. My kids value their education and are very motivated. I do not use stickers or lots of praise to help motivation. Doing well is about feeling good and doing ones best. I encourage kids by helping them to notice how good it feel when they do a good job or work hard on something. The process and working hard is more important than winning or the A grade. It's better to help them learn to drive themselves then push them.

Interests can be contagious. For example, If I sit down to do a puzzle book and enjoy it, they are more likely to join in. This also puts them more in charge of their learning. I leave a book in the playroom about learning something, like paper airplanes. They can choose to get into it or not. There has been times when my son has said I'm not into that. I'd say that's ok. It's up to you want books you look at. Usually he takes an interest.

When my kids try to do the paper airplanes I let them learn by making mistakes that are ok. Then can always start again. I can help if they would like. I let them notice it feels good to do this project. There are so many possibilities. I follow their lead and make it comfortable to learn, fail, experiment, take risks, and enjoy the process. I Collect recyclable plastic containers and sit down the kids and make something without directions. I let them discover somethings don't work and try to fix it.

Here is something simple that is huge in a life lesson. Since my kids were toddlers, I let my kids pour milk. This takes more time because I was pouring gallon jugs into smaller manageable pictures but it's worth it. When they were young they spilled some. My reaction was important. I needed to let them know it was ok to make the mistake. Just fix it and clean it up. I'll help if they need it. They were working on a skill and learning to be careful and how to fix mistakes. As they develop this skill, like many others, they can enjoy a good "I did it feeling". Help them to notice their success and enjoy their moments. They can give themselves a pat on the back. Making it their own is better than my praise. Of course, I would smile and be happy for them. I think this also evokes a sence that I believe in them so they can believe in themselves.