Jen - this is exactly why you are homeschooling - you are offering challenging material to reverse your son's underachievement. When a child spends hours and hours in an educational setting that doesn't met their learning needs the 'readiness level span' shrinks to almost zero. It is really really challenging to find materials that are challenging enough, and yet not overwhelming. This is a process and takes months, if not years. We went through this, and you are very brave to be facing it now.
My Mantra was: Better now than when he is away at college. I would repeat this silently over and over and over.
You will win this battle. It will be slow. I wouldn't worry so much about the 'I can't's and the 'this is boring's - those are the symptoms, not the disease.Great that you are laughing about it.
You might want to explain to him what has happened, just like I did above, with a graph showing a baby learning to walk, kids in a 'good fit' situation, and him. You can call everything below the lower line 'boring' and everything above the upper line 'frustrating.'
You can teach skills to handle frustration.
It's great that you are teaching independence. Keep going, but remember that until he has reversed some underachievement, and you have really found his readiness level, you will need to sit with him for a good long while. (Do you knit?)
As for charts - I would make a chart full of character words 'independent' 'kind' 'respects boundrys' 'appreiciative' and 'risk taker' and put a smiley face on one word that you see even the smallest achievement in. Then I would tell him what you saw and why you moved the smile face to that word.
He could make a chart of your good qualities that he sees in you and return the compliment.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
