Great perspective on kids and parenting shellymos! I have had to continue to learn this every year for my 16 yrs of being a parent. I consider myself lucky to have children from whom I can learn so much!
As for the China discussion, I teach ESL at a University, and yes, China and most other developed countries in the world require English from a relatively young age, but they don't leave their countries fluent in English. Almost all need a lot more study in an English Speaking Country before they can head to university here, and the parents are the ones who pay for it. At Harvard you may be seeing the very best, the government scholarships, etc., but remember how many people the best are being chosen from! If we judge Americans and the American education system by our Rhodes Scholars, or even by University Students who actually study abroad in a 2nd language, we look pretty amazing!
Also, as many have pointed out here, you have to remember culture. Education is simply more valued in China than it is here. However, critical thinking skills are not emphasized in that educational system. Everything has a trade off. We all operate from a value system, whether we are aware of it or not, and lucky for us, sometimes our kids are the ones who force us to look at what we really believe.
