I have a daughter who has something called selective mutism and could not talk in preschool for the entire year or participate in the singing and dancing. When she was three, it looked a lot like what is described here (the clinging to mama, tantrums and needing mama to help regulate their emotions ). She was diagnosed with SM, separation anxiety, generalized anxiety, sensory issues, and giftedness at 4.5.
This combination is basically due to asynchronous development (the intellectual aspect far ahead of emotional development). In situations where she felt anxious (such as a class of 3-4 year olds that act like typical 3 year olds), this created stress for her. Had there been a Montessori school nearby, I would have enrolled her there. But there wasn't. We did sensory things at home, including Montessori sensory activities too.
In case anyone was wondering, I have a summary of her journey to date here:
http://raisingsmartgirls.wordpress.com/our-daughters-sm-journey-the-summary/One of the helpful things about tantrums/emotional meltdowns was creating a kids' problem solving binder using picture stories and other things I found on the internet. I have it here
http://growinginpeace.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/kids-problem-solving-binder/.Sensory calming movement activities like yoga and ballet are actually very helpful for anxious kiddos.
Good luck and I hope this helps someone.
