Hi Junior,
It sounds like your boy is a wonderful kid, what a good thing it is that he exists! Thanks for sharing him with us. ((welcoming smile))
I'm glad you decided to post. I'm guessing you are on the shy side as well? If so, I'm glad he has a Mom who really understands him.
I think getting him tested is a great idea. Do you have a tester in mind. I'm going to repeat myself - LOL - "If he is a III or higher Ruf Level Estimated Giftedness, be sure to travel for your Assesment, as these kids are rare enough that even a well meaning and creative local tester isn't going to much use to you. We parents really need guidance from experienced folks. Introversion of the Unusually Gifted is particularly easy to confuse other adults - school folks and testers alike.
The last thing you want is to send him to anyplace that believes that there is something wrong with the way he currently is and see themselves as the person to change it. ((shake)) My own son spent 2nd grade in that situation and I regret that I didn't have policy that prompted me to act. That was hard on him, and he started to believe the teachers attitude. Perhaps ND (normally developing) kids can avoid noticing when a teacher sees them as deficient and in need of fixing and has the agenda to fix them, but few Gifted Kids can avoid noticing.
More questions -
Do you have other children, older or younger?
Does he ever get to play with children who are his "mental age" - how does that go?
Does he have any adults besides you that enjoy that activities he enjoys and when this happens, how does he interact socially?
Does he wear you out? Does he like to work independently for reasonable chunks of time? Do people accuse you of being "overclose?" My DS11 was like this. None of it made sense until I mentally compared him to a child with special needs. Would a hard of hearing child who's mom had figured out how to speak in ways he could understand, when no one else did, fight and cling and scheme to keep Mom close and focused on his? You bet he would. In a way my son had a communication problem, in that the many interesting snippets of adult communication were hard for him to decode, so he wanted me by his side to "explain" and do simultanious translations what felt like 24/7. He had the reasoning ability but not the knowledge bank as a preschooler.
You didn't mention the possibility of keeping him home for another year, and going straight to 1st grade next year - are go getting pressure to "send him to school" and "make him act like a real kid?" Is he showing signs that he 'needs' to spread his wings, or are you hoping that if he goes to school, the wings will appear.
In summary, an assesment can be an invaluable tool. Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual (about 20$ from Amazon) is a wonderful guide to early enterance. Roger's Reforming Gifted Education is a useful guide to the many choices one has.
Personally, I believe that 90% of the time should be spent enjoying the child in their area of strenghts and about 10% should be spent on gentle, thoughtful nudges in the challenge areas. In this situation, hireing a bright high school boy to "tutor/babysit" him may be the level of gentle thoughtful nudge in the social direction that he's ready for now.
Best Wishes whatever you choose, it's the choosing that matters more than the outcome. ;-)
Trinity
