Hi everyone
i am at a loss of what to do for K year with by DD5. She was just diagnosed HG (147 WPPSI) after years of perplexing, uneven behavior. Intense, hard to manage, constant craving of attention. She is the one that the "severe baby talk" thread is about. Anyway, she is currently an underperformer in school and home and after starting therapy a few weeks ago (initial findings- adjustment disorder/emotional disturbance). we've put some things together:

a) we feel she provokes us with baby talk and other behaviors as a way of testing our love for her. When she pushes us to the limit she validates how she feels- unloved, not as worthy as her brother, my DS7. When the going gets rough i tend to leave her in her bedroom, and she has actually shouted "see you DONT love me..".

b) she is very threatened by her brothers abilities and feels she is "stupid" compared to him. Afraid to show him (and now anyone else) that she can't do work at his level, and avoids it. Tends to hang out with very young kids at her montessori school. Does not want any of the older kids to know she can't read. She is actually way beyond her brother in terms of cognitive ability.

c) other than her academic performance, she fits in with kids who are 6-7 years old (she just turned 5), and if its kept completely social, she is great with them and preferes to be there. Will try to "woo" girls as old as 9 into friendships by trying to figure out what they woudl like to do, etc.

d) She is feeling of her being born and living first three years of life in environment totally devoted to her brothers special needs. He was (mis)-diagnosed with autism and our home was a revolving door of therapists of every sort. I went thru clinical depression during my pregnancy with her and first year of life due to DS's diagnosis. I felt overwhelmed by having a new baby in the home and hired a nanny to care for her (HUGE REGRET I AM VERY ASHAMED OF THIS).

So I am toying with the idea of homeschooling her next year. I feel that our relationship and the family dynamic needs to be healed and this would be a great chance to work on that.

I feel that if this doesn't get healed, there is no use moving her ahead into another academic environment where she will likely re-create the pattersns she is used to..Homeschooling is definitely NOT in fashion in our area (long island) so i'd be really going out on a limb.

The public school here is very good and they are dealing wonderfully with her brother. She very much wants to go to that school. So not sure if I should change that. Though the only basis for her opinion about what school she prefers is based on her brother. She toured many private schools including a Gifted school and none of them "passed muster" for her.

So I am wondering if anyone is homeschooling an UNDERachieving kid who is defintely not 2E when it comes to learning disabilites - that was ruled out..

and if anyone has dealt with these types of issues in a sibling of a disbled or otherwise exceptional sibling. At this point she seems like a mix of an emotionally disturbed child and a HG child. So I guess she could be looked at as a 2E kid in a way.. In other words i feel her behavior is outside the realm of typical HG/PG sensitivies.

thanks

irene