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Exactly, Lorel. That's why I said that there's often stuff we don't know, and that I take care not to advise parents or to embarrass kids.

There's definitely a way to approach this with sensitivity and yet not to allow bad behavior to go unnoted.

Part of it, I think has to do with our own response--bad manners from a child doesn't mean that we adults get to respond with bad manners. Trying to make someone look bad or feel bad is never good manners!