I think any time we try to "legislate" (figuratively speaking) any one term as being the right one or the wrong one, we're losing a lot of the give and take of every little interaction that it might come up in. The problem is when we're talking to people (other parents, teachers, etc.), about people (our kids), we're navigating some possibly treacherous social waters no matter what we say. There are so many different things that are perfect for one situation and just entirely wrong for another, depending on the relationships, the histories and the points you're communicating... you can't rely on one word for everything.
I've been in situations where the whole long story really was exactly right, and others where it had to be softened a little, and others where it really had to be avoided at all costs. Very rarely I've needed the short, blunt, honest-almost-to-the-point-of-rudeness response. It doesn't change because I'm hiding anything, but because I knew what I would be communicating to that person in that situation right then if I did otherwise. No single description is going to work for every single interaction.
