Since she indicated to you that she has spoken to the principal and end of year testing is going to be done, I would say you're doing fine. It may be that this is such an emotional issue for you that your reading more into her tone than there actually is.
As for being "that mom".... get used to it! The sqeaky wheel gets the oil is a true statement and if you want what's best for your DS you may have to make some noise. I keep a notebook of all things pertaining to DS. Copies of e-mails, notes about phone conversations and meetings go into my notebook. That way whenever confusion arises, I can pull out my book.
Someone else will have to answer the GATE question.
