I suspect, although could be completely wrong, that your friend may like hanging out with you and your DD but really aspires a "real friend" for her daughter - someone that is her daughter's own age. Do you openly talk about giftedness? Is your friendship with this mum competitive? How do you think she feels to see her DD playing with someone 3.5 years her junior? Does she accept that they're playing at the same level? I suspect not.
Mixed age friendships are very hard - not for the kids, but for the parents. What messages do you think this friendship between the girls is giving your friend? It seems to me that she might think that it's fine for "playdates" but it's not a genuine friendship. And you may need to confront her about this...
jojo
Oh... this is exactly what I was wondering.
Girls (and boys, to a degree) between the age of 8-12 often like to have a smaller kid around. I hope if the two kids like each other that nothing (your friend thinks/does) muddies that friendship.
Good luck!
