I agree that the perfectionism discussion should be a separate thread, but I can't help jumping in here. My parents and teachers praised me for my smarts, maturity, and ability to draw from the time I started school. My mom threw a little party the day I got into the gifted program in the second grade and refused an offered gradeskip around that same time because she wanted to keep me at the very head of my class. I also remember winning every single contest I ever entered--coloring, drawing, poetry, book reading, science fair, you name it--while I was in elementary school, and I was selected to be on local public tv once or twice because of some class project I'd done. In retrospect, all of this assured me at a very early age that I was smart and talented (at certain things) and showed me a clear and easy path to winning praise and acceptance. Being not just smart but "the smartest" became my entire identity, and by junior high I was going to ridiculous lengths to make straight As (even wrote extra credit reports for gym!), while avoiding any activity that I hadn't already mastered. The thought of making mistakes in front of other people absolutely terrified me, making classes like gym, choir, debate and Spanish a painful nightmare for me. I never even attempted to learn an instrument, and I'm still not able to speak Spanish (for fear of making mistakes) despite years' worth of studying.
So, from my perspective, the more Bs and Cs on my son's report card the better! And he's not entering any contests unless there promises to be some real competition. I've even enrolled him in kindergarten a year early (to start next fall), hoping to keep perfection out of his reach, just in case he decides to aim for it.
