What's really interesting to me, though, is that the resistance to practicing is not itself an indication of a lack of love for the instrument. Or at least it needn't be. In our case, it is completely clear that DS4 loves playing the cello. He chose the instrument, he loves performing for family and friends, he likes going to lessons, he really loves recitals. And if you ask him whether he likes playing the cello he is always completely clear that he does. (Not as much as playing baseball but still. That's a lot to ask.)
So the hard part for the parent is to recognize that resistance to practicing is something that it's *good* for the child to overcome. I mean, you know this already - it's good to learn a strong work ethic and all that stuff. But in some cases at least, it's what the child really wants though he doesn't know it. This isn't always the case, of course. Sometimes the child doesn't want to practice because he doesn't like the activity in the first place. (No clear cases of this, for our DS, but I'm sure we'll find some.) And then there are cases on the other side where the child always wants perform the activity. (Baseball is the clearest example of this in our case.) But it's the in-between ones that are hard. The child likes the activity, is proud of being involved in it, makes progress, but sometimes resists working hard at it. Being able to distinguish those cases from the cases in which the child really dislikes the activity itself seems to me absolutely crucial. I think a lot of my struggles have involved not knowing how to tell these apart. Cello is giving me the first really good example of the middle case.
Lots of good points, BaseballDad. It's sometimes hard to tell what activity the child doesn't like and where little bit of pushing is needed and good for the child.
People may think that DS4 doesn't like to play the piano when I say he doesn't like to practice. He is just like your son he loves his instrument but it doesn't mean he is eager to play what he is asked to. He is only four after all. I hope one day he will be like DS6 and I won't have to be on top of his practicing.
