Oh Montana! How I hear you! The problem with these kid's education is that it is really dependent on whether each year's teacher "gets" your child. You can have an amazing year one year and a terrible year the next, just based on the random draw of the teacher. It sounds like your DS's first grade teacher really doesn't understand your child, his needs, or his potential. In fact, she sounds downright hostile to gifted kids. Did they have her in mind when they wrote the article on 'cutting down the tall poppies' on Hoagies gifted web site?

We had the same problem in first grade. My DS(now 8) had a good kindergarten teacher who had several kids of her own: one was gifted so she saw and understood that part of DS, and one of her boys was ADHD and so she understood boys who struggled to focus or who were squirmy. The first grade teacher did not have kids, which I always consider a very bad sign for my DS, and it was her first year teaching in the school system. (a teacher who has passive little quiet girls is just as bad!) She told me all year that she was afraid that DS was "falling behind" because he would not color in the A is for apple sheets that she gave him. crazy He had been tested by that point and labeled generically gifted, but she had no understanding of him or his ability. It was not a good year.

Then DS got the most wonderful teacher in 2nd grade. She was an experienced teacher with grown kids. She had seen years worth of kids pass through her door. And she quickly surmised that DS had no business being in 2nd grade. She was our advocate, our knight in shining armor. She really pushed the school to accelerate DS immediately, mid-year, into 3rd grade. There is nothing quite like having a teacher on your side when it comes to getting the school to hear and act on your child's needs. DS was accelerated mid-year, and school improved dramatically for him.

So, you have to either hold tight this year and suffer through hoping that next year will be better, find another school option, or manage the impossible and educate this teacher on the needs of gifted kids.

I will tell you how my son's second grade teacher went about educating the school, FWIW. She gave DS the end of the year tests, for 2nd grade, in October of that year. When he passed all subject easily, then she could say to the principle that he belonged in 3rd grade. You could try the same approach with your son's teacher. If she doubts his reading ability, then ask her to give him something challenging to see where he is. Our school uses a computer-based reading assessment called Star Reading which gives kids harder and more complicated sentences to read until they start missing things. You need some for of assessment on his reading ability that the school will accept. (achievement data verses IQ data) If your DS is strong in math, then ask for the same thing in math. Then you may try to gingerly find out if the school is open to subject or full acceleration. Some schools are adamantly against it, no matter what the data says. Some schools are more flexible. You have to cautiously test the waters.

You may also have to educating your school on levels of giftedness. Most school assume that all gifted kids are the same. Oh wait... I just re-read your first posting... your school does not sound gifted-friendly. Ouch!! Well... that makes matter much harder! You will have to first teach them about gifted kids, and then teach them about DYS-level gifted kids. That is a tall challenge, even for a supermom who is well rested! LOL! I'll have to think about this for a while....

Here are two links that might help in the meantime, or until someone else has a brilliant suggestion. One is funny, for your sanity (Dr. Seuss goes well with sleep deprivation... why else was it so popular with parents too!), and the other one I just found and helps to explain gifted little boys. Someone just posted this link recently, and I really enjoyed it. (go to Oct. 8th 2008: Think It Off!) Maybe your DS's teacher will find it, or the whole link, instructive.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_seuss.htm

http://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/unwrapping_the_gifted/

I have been hanging out here for a good six months now, and it has really helped me with my sanity, my understanding of gifted kids, and the inner workings (or sadly the non-workings) of schools. So stay and hang out with us. We may not have simple answers to your questions, but we have all been in the same boat.

Small Poppies article:
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10124.aspx