Hi there and welcome to GT denial, as Kriston often says
I was feeling the same as you about my son (DS7) and seeing things that said he was gifted but then always having doubts about *how* gifted. Then doubting myself that he was truly gifted at all and that I was advocating for all the wrong things.
When I read Dr. Ruf's book I was sure he was a solid level 2, had lots of characteristics of a level 3 and one or two characteristics of a level 4. He is like your son. Very much like what you describe. Lots of questions but not the type often described by others. Never really questions concepts like death or existential stuff. Often "shuns" learning and tells us he prefers to "learn it on my own" - seems to prefer self discovery over being "taught." He was an early reader (before 4 years old) but doesn't have a voracious desire to read for pleasure. And he doesn't really have anything he is passionate about except maybe playing video and computer games!
But we actually took him to Dr. Ruf and she tested him and put him at a level 4! We were shocked. I said "he's not that motivated" and she replied, with a smile, "oh yes he is. Just not for what *you* want him to do!" She explained how personality types play into the way giftedness looks in children. My son is highly extroverted and very feeling - really outgoing and very sensitive. She said he doesn't read so much for pleasure because he'd prefer to be with people and doing something more actively engaging. Makes sense.
Don't worry too much about the level. My son is the exact same kid he was *before* we had him tested by Dr. Ruf. Her testing just confirmed what we were already experiencing. It did help to know that we were advocating in the right direction. She said he needed even MORE in the way of math differentiation. And that has helped tremendously. That's what you need to look at. Is your son happy where he is?? Mine wasn't.
I guess I don't really have an answer for you, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone and your son is GT and you'll know what to do as you go along. I agree with Dottie. Look at those comments and see if the school setting is working for him. If testing helps you better understand his needs, then see if there's a way to get it done. But just follow your "mommy gut." I've learned that's the best guide we've got!
