az1,
I completely sympathize with what you're feeling. I'm relatively new to the GT issues, but DW and I have taken a crash course... Here's what I've learned, take it for what it's worth.
Like incogneato mentions, the process moves far more slowly that you want it to. Painfully slow.
Only use email and phone to schedule an in-person meeting, not to discuss details. I learned this early on when a phone call wasn't going very well and I couldn't read the other person's body language. Similarly, it is too easy to read emotion into emails that may or may not be there. (Case in point, I bet the teacher thought she was addressing your request and didn't intend for it to be a brush-off).
Be as prepared as you can with your information but only pull out what you'll need.
Learn your local regs. In PA it's relatively easy for us as we have well known state regs that can trump local policies.
Have multiple meetings with multiple people. You're trying to tip over a refrigerator and it's going to take some rocking back and forth. Personally, I'd start with your teacher after the conference requesting a follow up meeting with her. (But that's us and our situation). We also have another department that deals with special services (GT and students that need other accommodations). If you have a similar department, schedule a Q-and-A meeting with them as well.
If you have the time and energy, start giving your child "after school" work. I think Grinty has mentioned this before. We're pretty open with our child and he loves that we periodically give him "complex math". And we tell him that we're working on getting him complex math at school too.
Good luck. You'll definitely find a lot of people here that have BTDT (been there done that).
JB
