thank you!
In what ways does he not get along? For example, is he quiet and stand-offish? Is he uninterested in things the other kids want to talk about or do? Have you coached him in social skills? Has he been enrolled in a social skills group?
He has been in daycare and now kinder and first grade. We are social parents and have exposed him early and often to social situations. He is just more intense than other kids. At a birthday part for karate this weekend for example, everytime the coach would give directions, my son would summarize what the coach said and repeat it back loudly and obnoxiously? No other kid was doing that. He ends up clashing with kids if there isn't something to entertain him with maybe because he is bored? Fo[/color]r example, last year we went to an easter party where the kids were going to color easter eggs and hunt for eggs. My son isn't going to nicely dip eggs in a container and wait patiently for them to change colors. He would have mixed all the other colors, spilled half of them, broken the eggs on the ground. Its really obnoxious behavior and most kids (and esp girls) and their parents are offended by his behavior. We ask him why he does stuff like this and he has no response, can't explain himself- whatever it is. He isn't' a bad kid, hes just so intense and most other kids are taken aback by him. To him, I think he just is having fun. He just doesn't operate at the normal kids level, which ends up with us staying on top of him the whole party to make sure he isn't destructive, but then what is the point? We aren't having fun so it we end up leaving.
Did you have a conversation with him about this? For example, did you ask him if his ear was itchy, sore, plugged and not hearing well, etc? Did you show him pictures of the inner working of the human ear? Discuss ear wax? Otoscopes? Safety of not putting things in the ears? Ask him why he smelled the stick removed from his ear?
I do ask him all sort of questions and let him know that he could really hurt his ear. We had to bring him to doctor once get a rock taken out, so to him he just likes to experience everything sensorially. He goes to a summer camp where take him to the beach at the end of the summer. The whole team of coaches came up to me afterwards and was like in 30 years of running summer camp I have never ever seen a kid enjoy the beach like your son. He doesn't just play in the sand and water, he rolls around in it and lets it covers his hair and face while he eats the sand and he is so happy. Everything has to be sensorial to him, but he's not like autistic kid; he's very much 'normal' when you meet him. He has two younger sisters and when they were both born, he takes their little bodies and holds them and caresses each body part like a tag while he sucks his thumbs. He just has to experience everything so deeply and it makes him happy. I am not sure if my first comment here made it seem like a negative thing. His sensory issues (or maybe they aren't issues) make him happy and satisfied. I just don't see other kids needing this extreme stimulation.
What type of discussions have you had with him about putting things in his mouth? About what he is thinking when he does this? About germs?
We talk about putting thing in his mouth and that they are dirty, etc until the cows come home - he just can't help himself. His summer camp had a bug week and they brought in the preserved dead bugs and cockroaches, etc. All the kids were looking at them in aw and one of the camp counselors told the 80 campers that they were edible and asked if anyone wanted to eat one. Obviously most of the kids cringed and said no way, but not my son - he was the first and only to volunteer and without hesitation bit the head off a beetle. Eating beetles, things off the floor, etc have no consequence to some one like him. He finds satisfaction in it bc he needs to experience.
You mention that he speaks nonchalantly about death. Has any person or pet that he was attached to died? Has he experienced the permanent loss which death brings?
No one he has known has died, so its odd he is way to comfortable talking about it and understanding it w ease.
(Updated with cleaner quotes) @indigo
