Welcome!

Originally Posted by nataliemarie
We are alienated socially because my son is a wild card - not sure who he is going to get along with at the party, etc so a lot of times, we just avoid.
In what ways does he not get along? For example, is he quiet and stand-offish? Is he uninterested in things the other kids want to talk about or do? Have you coached him in social skills? Has he been enrolled in a social skills group?

Originally Posted by nataliemarie
He is a major sensory seeking kid. He has to smell everything. Like once he put a twig in his ear and we got it out with a tweezer and he grabbed it and put it in his hands and all he could was just smell it with these long deep breaths as if it was his way of understanding what just happened to him.
Did you have a conversation with him about this? For example, did you ask him if his ear was itchy, sore, plugged and not hearing well, etc? Did you show him pictures of the inner working of the human ear? Discuss ear wax? Otoscopes? Safety of not putting things in the ears? Ask him why he smelled the stick removed from his ear?

Originally Posted by nataliemarie
He also puts anything in his mouth and will eat food out of the trashcan and from the floor despite his peers telling him he is gross.
What type of discussions have you had with him about putting things in his mouth? About what he is thinking when he does this? About germs?

You mention that he speaks nonchalantly about death. Has any person or pet that he was attached to died? Has he experienced the permanent loss which death brings?

Originally Posted by nataliemarie
I am thinking of getting him tested for giftedness as I don't have another diagnosis.
People can be gifted or high IQ and also have a disability. This is called twice exceptional or 2e.

Here is a brief roundup of common behavior characteristics and early milestones which may indicate giftedness
- Characteristics of intellectually advanced young people
- NAGC's list borrowed from the book A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children
- Characteristics and Behaviors of the Gifted
- Characteristics checklist for gifted children
-Tips for Parents: Helping Parents Understand Their Profoundly Gifted Children
- Profiles of the gifted and talented which lists 6 different types, categorized by personality/temperament and achievement
- Bertie Kingore, Ph.D.: High Achieving, Gifted Learner, Creative Thinker? (hat tip to sanne)
- old post with link to article comparing gifted characteristics and ASD characteristics
- A common trait in gifted children, often listed amongst identifying characteristics, is alternately described as: "advanced moral reasoning", "well developed sense of justice", "moral sensitivity", "advanced ability to think about such abstract ideas as justice and fairness", "empathy", "compassion". Links to lists of gifted characteristics include several articles on the Davidson Database here and here, SENG (Silverman), SENG (Lovecky).