The SENG website has an article: Can You Hear The Flowers Sing?, Issues for gifted adults.

A few ideas:
1) I would think it would be important for the individual with OEs to understand OEs and his/her role in managing them; It is not their fault, but it is their responsibility... I'm thinking of the words of wisdom shared by Platypus101, copied in this old post.
2) I would think it would also be important for the individual with OEs to understand the difference between NEEDS and WANTS and that while the spouse/family cares for the individual and will sacrifice/strive to meet NEEDS, it is unrealistic to have all WANTS met.
3) I would think that the adult OEs ought not to rule all family matters and decisions, as though constantly catering to one spouse lest they stage a tantrum or have a meltdown.

A few more potential resources:
There are little-known blogs and websites about gifted adults, including High Ability.

Here on the Davidson Gifted Issues Forums, there is a forum dedicated to gifted adulthood. I may add a thread in that Gifted Adult forum, pointing to this thread in the General Discussion Forum. As the Gifted Adult forum is less busy and has fewer posts than forums focused on our children's gifted education, to see all posts in the Gifted Adult forum: Under Display Options, for the prompt Show Topics, choose the value "from all dates", then press the "Change" button.

This is not focused on over-excitabilities specifically, but there are websites with support tips for a partner of an adult with high-functioning autism... some of the ideas may apply.
1) Asperger Partner
2) Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome (FAAAS)
3) SALVE tipsheet by FAAAS

It seems that an enterprising author could conduct a thorough literature review and publish a brief book or guide on forging/maintaining a positive relationship with an OE spouse.

I look forward to reading other replies! smile