I am gifted, my husband has severe ADHD and I think would be identified as gifted as well. I imagined my DD5 might be identified as bright or gifted based on milestones reached and heredity. We've also been on the look out for ADHD. We decided that Montessori would be a good fit for her early on, whether she is gifted or has ADHD or both. We liked that she could work at her own pace and also that she didn't have to sit in one spot and be "lectured at" when we could tell that would be a struggle.
If you're not familiar w/ Montessori (didn't get through all the PPs) they have a 3 yr range, so prek/k is from 3-6 and you stay in the same classroom for all 3 yrs w/ peers both younger and older. For most of the 1st two years her teacher didn't see any indication of ADHD. Then towards the end of last yr (right before she turned 5 in May) there some signs popping up that I recognized from my hubby. The teacher also mentioned a few things. We went to an ADHD expert facility for an initial appt b/c if she did appear to be going the ADHD route we wanted to alter our parenting strategies accordingly. The dev pedi said maybe some signs of ADHD but that we really should have her evaluated for giftedness based on her articulation and my history.
I hemmed and hawed and made full use of imposter syndrome until I spoke w/ parent friends that have a similar profile (gifted + maybe ADHD) who recommended a well-known (listed on Hoagies "Find a provider" section) neuropsych in the area that is an expert on giftedness and 2E. Meanwhile her teacher was kinda flippant about the idea of DD5 being gifted- had a "of course she is, all Montessori kids test as gifted" attitude about her. (We now believe she is confusing high IQ w/ high test scores which explains her idea about Montessori kids as it does seem kids are presented w/ advanced material sooner in Montessori than in a traditional public school.)
I questioned the neuropsych doc at length as to whether we should bother testing her if we intend to keep her in Montessori and she seems to be doing well. She pointed out that information is good, especially when considering all we might have going on. So we had the eval last week and got the scores that day. I expected her to be labeled bright or mild/moderately gifted, maybe even into the 130 IQ range. I was shocked at her results (FSIQ 148), it wasn't even on my radar as a possibility. More than that...it was across the board high. She was in the 99.9% in both working memory and processing speed, which as a mom expecting the start of severe ADHD absolutely blew my mind. The neuropsychD said that she seemed to have difficulty focusing but that the more challenging the questions, the more focused *and happy!!* she appeared. At this point I knew that the traits of gifted vs ADHD can overlap, but the idea that perhaps she hasn't been "focused" b/c she hasn't been challenged was eye-opening! Yet her teacher was leaning twds ADHD and very dismissive of officially gifted vs just testing well all b/c of Montessori. Mind blown for me!
Now the neuropsych dr isn't ruling ADHD out, she says she noticed a "spaciness" that she thinks is genuine at times, but for now she recommends we hold off on the official ADHD testing for a couple of years. She told us to "act as if" (work on diet, exercise, sleep, structure) she's 2E but unless it gets to the point that there's some adverse events happening, no reason to take it further. And she said it's quite possible that she doesn't have ADHD but instead her high IQ is showing up in these "quirks" we've assumed were ADHD.
She did stress that an appropriate educational environment must be a priority. She said a traditional school would be detrimental for her, and that there are very few schools in the area that would work for her. (stress!) DD5 needs to have movement and needs to be somewhere she can openly "challenge" what she's told, ask questions, raise doubts, etc. She needs be challenged mentally or she's apt to act out behaviorally. She also has some possible mild sensory stuff to work through - and if you haven't already, check out Dabrowski's 5 overexcitabilities in gifted children for more info there.
So much to digest and I'm still in the fact-finding phase...but just wanted to paint you a picture of something similar that turned out differently from what we initially assumed. Perhaps your little one has ADHD, perhaps gifted, perhaps both, perhaps it's both but not nearly as much of one as the other and what you and the teachers are seeing as ADHD might be quirks of high IQ.
Best of luck! This stuff is hard. I'm so thankful to have found this forum and am actively seeking out others to surround myself w/ BTDTs.
