That is a very accurate description of what is going on in our middle school environment as well. I have also discussed with DD the extracurricular activities issue with college applications but more in the context of searching/finding/focusing on activities that she naturally enjoys with an eye to the long term. Unfortunately, there are certain activities that you have to try by middle school or you will be completely shut out in high school. That is sad about your DS' friend - hopefully from her parents' perspective, it was more a question of her performance and/or her preparation versus her established ability.
