Again, these are some important issues that you brought up. Thankfully (perhaps?), DD is not a wunderkind in music so this domain at least isn't a danger. For DD in any case, I don't think socially prescribed perfectionism or imposter syndrome are concerns at this point. It really helps that she has a brother who has higher ability in most of the traditional academic domains but that that she has received her own share of recognition for actual concrete accomplishments. I have never tried to spare her feelings from reality and as a result, she knows that she is one of the brightest in her school but that there are tons of people out there with higher ability. After all, even 0.1 % of one million is 1000 people. She also really gets it that high ability must intersect with effort to result in any worthwhile achievements.
