Awareness is half the battle.
With DS, we've pretty much had to do at home speech therapy since age 3, the first time we struggled getting adequate support.
We tend to tackle one problem at a time, with discussion in a low stress situation (walking to school or riding in the car) about why it's important. When he makes an error, we mention it in private as soon after the incident as we can. I get very specific with more or less the following formula while being ultra calm and working hard to include zero shaming in it, while being clear and direct: "I understand you were trying to explain something to
. What you said came across as rude because your tone/words made it sound like you felt superior." Early in the process, I then include something along the lines of, "Here's what you could have said," and after several iterations, I move to "Can you come up with another way to say that?"
