Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School PLEASE HELP--Behavior issues in first grade

I am in desperate need of advice. This will be long. Thanks in advance for reading.

Last year (kindergarten) was a rough year for DS. He was in public school and basically knew everyything that was taught or he picked it up quickly and wasn't into reviews. He is not a strong reader, but was considered on level. I put him in private tutoring which he loved. He is very much into science and math. The science was limited in school, and he breezed through the math. There was basically no differentiation, and the teacher was very defensive when I asked.

This how our kindergarten year ended (this is the letter that I sent to the superintendent at the end of the year):

Dear Superintendent,

I would like to share my experience with you as a parent of a kindergartener during the 2014-15 school year at M--- Elementary School. My husband, C----, and I have since decided to place our son in private school this fall. However, I have a professional background in education research and a personal interest in the success of my zoned school, and in the hope of improving of the school, I want to share our experience.

My son was placed in Mrs. M's kindergarten class, and I volunteered in the classroom approximately once a week until I received a letter from the principal (in December 2014) stating that volunteers were being suspended in our particular classroom. I volunteered during the reading period when students rotated to stations. During my classroom visits, the teacher often had trouble with behavior management because of at least two students. These two students consistently disrupted the school and classroom environment. This continued to happen throughout the entire school year.

In regards to my son, thankfully, he continued to perform well academically. He consistently met or exceeded the standards that were set with one exception. During a round of DIBELS testing, my son did not meet the goal of 34 on "Phoneme Segmentation.” He scored 17. When I contacted Mrs. M to ask for resources to work with DS at home, she told me that the goal was raised "across the board," many students did not meet the standards, and I shouldn't worry about it. I did not find this response helpful nor professional.

While performing well academically, DS's behavior was negatively affected by the chaotic classroom environment. In the beginning of the school year, he received mostly "green" with an occasional "yellow" for behavior. By February, it was mostly yellows with an occasional orange. This continued until my husband requested a meeting with the principal, Dr. D. She emailed that testing was starting, and she would get back to him with a date.

Approximately two more weeks passed. During this time, we received a behavior ticket from the PE teachers and telephone calls from the teacher and assistant principal, Ms. L. We emailed Dr. D, Ms. L, Mrs. B (the counselor) and Mrs. M requesting a meeting to discuss the situation. We cc'd you on the email and Dr. D scheduled a meeting that Friday.

My husband attended the meeting, and it was decided that Mrs. B would handle any further behavior issues involving DS. She was to be our point of contact and communication was to come through her. I was grateful as I had had a productive meeting with Mrs. B earlier this year to discuss how I hoped my son would be more challenged when he was in first grade. I appreciate that she seemed to have a true understanding of his personality and abilities.

After that meeting, the feedback about our son's behavior increased to almost daily. Over the next couple of weeks, I received texts (and photos) and behavior logs from Mrs. M and at least one phone call from Ms. L. One day, I received a phone call from Mrs. B who was unaware of the incidents that were told to me by the Mrs. M and Mrs. L that day. I am not sure why Mrs. M never followed the plan that was put in place at the meeting.

Finally, at the beginning of May, I received a telephone call from Dr. D. I asked for her professional opinion about how I should handle the situation. She told me that since kindergarten is not mandatory and my son wasn't gaining anything academically anyway, that I should withdraw him if I could afford it. So that is what I did immediately.

M Elementary School is the only place where we have had any negative reports of DS' behavior. Currently, he participates in the gifted program at the University, classes at the City Museum of Art and horseback riding lessons.

We are unsure of all the aspects that contributed to the unproductive and chaotic environment in that particular kindergarten class, but we are hopeful that by sharing our experience, you will be able to use this information to better the school.

If you need any more information, my husband and I would be willing to speak with you.

Sincerely,
J

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So this year, we decided to place him in a private Christian school with a much more challenging curriculum. I recognize that it is much more regimented than the public school. Last week, on day 2, the teacher asked to meet with me about DS' behavior. He got upset and didn't want to follow directions and then he basically had a melt down--screaming and yelling in class. He was sent to the front office to calm down. Yesterday, there was another incident and basically the same thing happened. He was told to do something and didn't follow directions. His desk was moved, and later when she told his table to get ready for PE, he didn't move. He later told me that he was waiting for her to call his name and not his table. He says he didn't know he was supposed to go with his table.

In the car, I told him that I was taking away his camera as punishment. He started screaming in a way that I have never heard. When we got home, I told him to put on his pajamas and rest in his room.

About an hour later, I fed him dinner and told him we would be having my a practice spelling test since tomorrow (today/Friday) was the test. He got 16 of the 20 words correct. He turned the "b" into a "d" for two words. I told him that he needed to write the ones that he had gotten wrong 3 times. This turned into another screaming fit.

I made an appointment with a counselor after last week's incident. She seems to think he has trouble coping and managing his anger. She says there will be a period of adjusting the new environment and things may get worse before they get better. I made another appointment for Monday after yesterday's incident.

Some of DS' complaints are that he doesn't know what he's supposed to do, the work is hard and he doesn't know the answers, it takes him along time to write his name and others are finishing their work before him.

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Has anyone experienced this? I am almost 6 months pregnant and I am at my wit's end. Any and all advice is appreciated. I don't know if he is in a better environment and I should just wait for the adjustment or just what to do.