There are many things about my son that make me proud. Am I proud of him for trying new things when it would be easy not to? Absolutely. Am I proud that he has learned how to channel his empathy in a way that allows him to make friends of all ages really easily? You bet! But getting accepted to a gifted private school? I don't see that as an accomplishment to be proud of. Grateful to have the opportunity? Of course. Proud? No.
I agree with most of this...when DD11 was accepted into the program DS12 is now attending, she asked me if I was proud of her and I said I am happy for you, but being proud of this (since it's IQ based) would be like being proud of your having blue eyes, or blonde hair.
Not to be hypersensitive (ha!), but I'd take the same angle on the empathy and ease of social savvy, since a lot of people have issues in these areas that are not related to effort and/or character. I think parents of kids with behavioral challenges feel a lot of guilt and feel judged when their children don't share these talents. (Tangent, sorry, it just sorta jumped out at me--see how easy it is to be accidentally offensive/hurtful?)
I reserve my "pride," if that's the right word, for perseverance, acts of altruism, and other things that reflect the values I hope my children are developing and incorporating into their personalities.
My "little professor" (DS12) has always been introduced similarly to what you describe--although that seems to have lessened as he's grown older. I think it's natural for people to find something to identify or label a kid with in these types of situations. I understood the "freak show" to be tongue-in-cheek. I suspect the parent in question had no idea this kind of introduction might be a sensitive topic.
