I have zero interest in DD going to any university except one that a) is the right fit for her b) accepts her and c) we can pay for. I hope that venn diagram has an intersection.

The arms race of college admission is a symptom of some significant economic and social problems here in the US. The environment is unhealthy and that supports unhealthy behaviors. It's a challenge, but a worthy one in my opinion, to try to find balance between making sure your kids are set up for the possibility of a successful life in a broken system and not buying into the broken system more than you have to.

And FYI, my username comes from a plant that I admire for it's beauty and tenacity. Another interpretation never occurred to me when I signed up on the site.