No, we haven't decided to do that--- but, OH, how much I can identify with the yearning to do just that.
Just know this:
it DOES pay off eventually.
Our solution was that when DD signs on for something, she's COMMITTED to seeing it through (for however long the commitment lasts, or however long parents deem it worthwhile-- we're not inflexible about it, but she'd otherwise be a total dilettante).
Piano and learning to drive are the two things that were much more OUR notion than hers, at least after the initial buzz wore off. She knows that we have rational reasons for insisting on those things (and we do).
We also talk openly about work ethic, and determination, motivation, and resilience.
I don't know if any of that is helpful, but DD is awfully stubborn and man, does she ever have a temper when crossed. Her dad and I have the fortitude to patiently wait out her tantrums, but it isn't always easy.
It does help, thank you. I became so exhausted and overwhelmed with it all. My son doesn't really have a bad temper but he is SO passively-resistant that it came down to what felt like threats (and that is not my preferred MO--ha!) I guess they weren't exactly threats, but statements of reality: if you want to stay in this program, you have to do the work. This would usually get his attention, but it felt like such a heavy toll to pay.
I have no way of knowing, really, what drives his passivity. There were so many variables--medication issues, MS transition, puberty, depression. I do know that I do not especially want him to live in my (metaphorical) basement in adulthood, reading *everything* about his current interest, drawing, and asking bizarre philosophical questions at each crack of dawn...
This is a hard, hard job. I have privately nicknamed him Bartleby the Scrivener because he "prefers not to" on just about everything, unless it's been outlined, mind-mapped, explained to his satisfaction, and then enforced *perfectly* in a way that convinces him without causing him to decompensate.
I really do want the EASY button, but it does not exist.
