DS actually is pretty great at listing out all of the social and behavioral things he has been taught, he just can't seem to remember to stop and use those skills when upset. And he gets upset easily and often. We just keep working at it, year after year. I'm really trying my best.
This jumped out at me, I have no idea how/if this would work for your case but I will say that "The Explosive Child" book was a lifesaver in our house. The title is a bit over the top but the approach really helped our DS (and us). Our local library has copies.
Best of luck!
