Thanks everyone. I guess my main problem is that my gut is pretty much as confused as my brain at this point. It was hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of having a kid who is way outside the norm, so the result that we got was in some ways a lot less scary than it could have been. It did also confirm that he is gifted, so I can work with the schools from a 2e perspective now, which I think will be helpful.
I can finally use actual real test results to refute all of the BS I get about how kids on the spectrum are often good at academics or have splinter skills, but are generally average to below average IQ. That he wasn't understanding what he was reading or that he would be unable to understand the big picture or put concepts together.
My parent report has been meaningless, because as we all know, experts who don't even know your kid know more about them than you do. My child has been defined by a possibly not even accurate diagnosis for far too long. Even with not paying good attention or trying hard at all he still managed to do above average on every area they tested, so I'm pretty sure all of that autism stereotype stuff will be hard for them to defend at this point.
I think what we will do now is wait until 7 or 8 and retest with the WISC. Hopefully he will be mature enough then to understand the importance of doing his best on the test. Plus if we go private perhaps they will make use of the fact that I have no problem doing 1 subsection a day if needed to get good focus and compliance. I also sent in his weighted vest, headphones, body sock, snack, and small fidget, all things that help him calm down and focus. None were tried. We had the same problem with the schools.
Who knows what the future test will tell us, but for right now I've decided I'm happy just knowing that my son is most likely at least mildly gifted. This will help with advocacy at the school and helps me understand him a little better. I was hoping for more useful results to see if there were any specific patterns of deficit or anything, but I guess that will have to wait as well.
Our current homeschool setup is 4 hours a day, with 8 transitions built in. He does very well with it. We do use a schedule, but I change it up frequently "for fun". We spend about 1.5 hours of the time on real academics, the rest is art, music, games, puzzles, etc. We are working very hard right now on losing gracefully.
We go out most days after school to places with kids to socialize. My son is doing better than ever. We just started a weekly IU playgroup and I am looking for some group activities to sign up for in the summer. We have weekly playdates with friends in a variety of locations. We keep pretty busy and practice social skills a lot. We have books and projects that we do for homeschool that work on social skills.
DS actually is pretty great at listing out all of the social and behavioral things he has been taught, he just can't seem to remember to stop and use those skills when upset. And he gets upset easily and often. We just keep working at it, year after year. I'm really trying my best.
The elementary school my son would go to is right next door to us. It has a greatschools rating of 2 and looks like a prison. It's covered in graffiti and it's constantly surrounded by smoking, drug using kids and, unfortunately, parents as well. The plan is to move, but it's unlikely to happen before September as home sales are pretty much non-existent in our area. I think I will stick with the homeschool until we get to a better district and then see how he does back in real school. So far he has been kicked out of 3 private schools, so my experience there has shown me that private is not a good option for kids who have behavior problems.
I will continue to allow DS to learn at whatever level he seems ready for. I'm not sure what is typical for kids at different LOG, but for right now we will keep going with the combo of 1st to 4th grade curriculum we are working on. DS loves logic puzzles, games, and mazes and does them at a much higher level. I buy him stuff for adults at this point. He was so happy last week with the new sudoku game I bought him (sukugo), that he gave me hundreds of hugs and kisses and positively gushed about it for hours. I can't see my son happy in a K classroom learning the letter of the day and counting to 20 at circle. He mastered those skills before he was 2. Maybe he is more gifted than the test showed, maybe not, but he has a great mind for academics and a great interest in and aptitude for learning. Why hold him back academically based on his deficits?
