I'm going to second what cdfox said about homeschooling. This is our second year with DS9 (DYS, 2e), and our first year with DD7. I do not regret pulling either out, but I do regret waiting so long to pull DS out. Many of the behaviors and attitudes he started in school are still with us, although this year is better than last.
My experience with DS is that school got worse as he got older. This was in part because there were more executive function demands and rules, less free time and more crowded/noisy conditions, he was that much more advanced in class, and he was becoming increasingly frustrated (leading to acting out). He has undiagnosed SPD, anxiety, and perfectionism, all of which were exacerbated by being in school. For him, school truly was a toxic environment, filled with adults and kids who didn't understand him or his needs.
While homeschooling has not been completely problem free, at least I have more control of his environment, and he has more control over what he does and when. While it's true he is around fewer kids each day, the kids he does see like him and don't see him as "that kid with the behavior problem."
I found that it was a difficult decision to start homeschooling, because it meant bucking the trend and changing my own plans. But ultimately, we are responsible for our children's education and well-being, whether at school or at home. Initially, I tried to take the stance of "what would be best for DS this next month?" When thought of that way, it was more obvious that he would get more out of being at home than going to school, even if all he was doing was reading books all day.
Feel free to PM me if you have questions or want to chat.
