Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Is DS really that different?

I have had the same struggles with our kids (and I know DH does) - DS is only 4, and it seemed odd to us that at 3 years old, we were seeing boredom (they play a lot in school) and not liking his classmates. In many ways, he looks so ordinary - and he blends in with whatever group of peers he is in that most of his daycare teachers had no idea who he really was.

And his discontent seemed typical, to me, as a reaction to some events that happened and to the age - so I know I had a hard time with wondering about whether he needs to be in an environment that is focused on the needs of gifted children at his age - but when we switched to GT school (which starts full time for 4+), it was like day and night. Suddenly, he loves school, and even at home, we noticed that his confidence is much higher - he is with a group where it is okay if 4 years old are reading, where he can be curious about anything and not feel odd, where it is not absurd if he wants to do the chess club (other classmates are in the same chess club)... they are moving at the pace he wants to go, and without making it uncomfortable.

So although we did do a test, and everyone saying that testing at 3.5 is too unreliable - we still wonder where he is relative to his class and his long term educational needs. But what we know right now is - he is where he belongs as of this time in his life, he is loving it - and we can network with other parents with GT kids - where anything he does is not going to be out of place (or if we talk about his younger sister, it won't be a surprise). We definitely got a dose of "gawking" while at a hotel just recently - where DS read a few words off the kids' activity page, and the hostess was like "wow, he can read?? Say, can you read this?" which made us very uncomfortable especially since DS hates being put on the spot like that.

When we moved DS to the GT school, we only said that we were looking for a long term school since he won't be in daycare forever, and we want a small school - if they ask, I do say which school he goes to, and if they don't know it (most don't), we just say it has small classes. That is usually sufficient. The one parent who knew of his school was interested - because we suspect her son is also GT, so if parents are already dealing with those issues, they know about it and if parents are not, they focus on the more prominent and well known private schools.

ETA - even within the family, it can be challenging. My parents know and support us, but they - and we - carefully do not mention anything that is related to giftedness with my sisters with the fear that one of my sisters will freak out and do something foolish like try to hothouse her daughter. I agree - "gifted" is such a tainted word and it is sad but something we are very conscious about.