Actually with the new description, I'd say you can't go wrong with Aesop's Fables and so many fairy tales from around the world. I still every now and then, catch my thoughts and say "Fox in Grapes" to renew my perspective.

But I think viewing behaviors as symptoms makes resolving things easier. Once you call it "strong willed" and a "battle," I think you paint your options into a bit of a corner.