I still think that Val's point is well-made, however-- it will not be socially acceptable to point out to potential friends that air travel is many thousands of times LESS hazardous than a short trip in an automobile. Fear is inherently irrational much of the time, but you don't make many friends with others for minimizing their fears as "irrational." So I vehemently disagree with the idea of a "presentation" regarding risks. I think that most adults can see why this would (socially) be a disaster amongst peers in a professional setting, right? It's intrusive and presumptuous; more on that momentarily, but NO WAY would I mock someone's fear of, say-- bicycles-- if they'd been mowed down by one as a young child, or witnessed a serious accident involving one. Our risk assessment may well be skewed by previous personal trauma.
Without seeing the circumstances, I can't say for sure whether being actively avoidant with the dog was an irrational response or not-- given the interactions on the part of the other children, it does sound nearly as disproportionate as their response to the spider, however. I realize that this is probably not what your DD would like to hear, however-- and her dislike and lack of familiarity with dogs is likely at the root of the problem-- just as it is for the other children with the spider.
A small-ish dog, with a collar and well-cared for, clearly well-socialized and friendly toward children? Pretty low risk-- which the other children seem to have recognized. Not as low, certainly, as a spider correctly identified as harmless... but low, nonetheless. Particularly with a child who is familiar with dogs enough to understand how to interact with one safely. I've worked as a vet tech-- and I've NEVER been bitten by a fearful/angry dog, but have sustained a black widow bite. So really-- IMMV. I'm wary of spiders until I can identify them.
BTW-- I'm not irrationally fearful of much, but snakes are on my own list. It doesn't make sense, I know, given that I live in an area where coachwhips/racers are the only REMOTELY hazardous snakes for humans or other animals (they do bite pretty hard). But it doesn't need to make sense. I'm more intimidated by a garter snake in my yard than I am of a wandering golden retriever. {sigh} My DD is unafraid of snakes, but IS irrationally fearful of spiders.
That kind of thing isn't really about calculated risk-benefit or intellect. It's about fear.
Last edited by HowlerKarma; 08/09/14 12:08 PM.
