I think you can downgrade the age recs if you're reading aloud or listening together. That gives you a chance to see how the child is reacting, and to discuss. I've been burned before, though, by children reading solo and then coming to me sobbing, or unable to sleep at night.
With DD10, who used to be verrrrry sensitive, we saw a huge jump in maturity and ability to process mature themes when she was in third grade. She still sheds a tear at a few scenes in HP, but so do I.
It's not out of control sobbing, like we sometimes had with various books and movies when she was younger. Fears are also under much better control, although it's possible she is just less vocal and more private.
