My DD is 8 and also has ADHD and a lot of anxiety. She tends to have a lot of "friends" even though she doesn't have very good social skills, which I really don't understand at all. Kids either love her or hate her. But with other kids she tends to be very bossy and she isn't very flexible in her play: she really only wants to play what she likes, doesn't want to try new things very often. When we had her last big eval, they thought she simply impulsive enough that she doesn't think enough about what she says, or pay enough attention to what others are saying/doing to properly interpret their behavior. She's really just in her own head much of the time.
Have you tried talking to the teacher about the friend situation? I've found the teacher often has a good insight into social issues within the class. DD also attends a social skills "class" with the special ed teacher several times a week.
I think I would also push the school to recognize and help remediate disorganization at school. If she has a medical diagnosis this might link to, then I would push for accomodations in her 504, or even consider an IEP. DD gets aide time once a week to help her organize her desk and her papers; I really think she should get this every day, but thankfully, she doesn't really have much in the way of homework or anything yet.
