Ah, as the mother of an intense little firecracker - take heart! You are not alone ((HUGS)). I wish I could tell you that it gets better, but I am not there yet!
DD8, an outspoken extrovert, HAS learned to be fairly compliant at school, but she sometimes then EXPLODES at home. She procrastinates about completing her homework (this is where the arguments start) and generally complains to the point of practically making those around her miserable. We did not have her tested until this past year (sort of unavoidable since this is when the G&T program starts), and I have now started to wonder if there is a bit of an educational mismatch going on - we are still sorting this out.
DD is a ridiculously picky eater (a super-taster perhaps?). DD has not exhibited the toe-walking and does not seem to have any allergies, but I did want to offer support for the intensity...boy, oh boy - do we understand that!