The way I think of it the 'normal' stages are not in the same order for us. So, in general, it seems to me that however it happens that the gifted brain is so far advanced, that independent, intense characteristic is right there with it (the good with the not so fun right now). Or, I think of it as the adolescent stage getting out of the way early and then when everyone else is going through adolescence we are working on our dream paths whatever those passion might be. The hardest part is that when you are in groups the gifted behavior can stand out especially if the child is highly verbal with strong lungs. The sensitivities issue (which I think is what the author was trying to express in the famous story, the princess and the pea) becomes a real asset as an adult. Think of all of the 'unique' people who sense things differently. What is unbelievable to me is that after all of this time (kinda the there is nothing new under the sun theory), these kids are still so misunderstood and it is so sad. It is probably a true statement that the smarter the child, the more challenging to raise. Also, I have found that it should all be traceable within the family and that it didn't just come out of nowhere. And, it is really important to pass on the details to all related generations so that they can maximize their happiness factor. I read a statistic a while ago that 71% of gifted/highly gifted people never have a child. The childhood can be very challenging; it is not easy. Look for what triggers your child's unhappiness. Gifted children are very sensitive to the feeling of being controlled. It is also probably a true statement that there will be many intense power struggles, so I guess the answer is to provide a safe environment in which everyone knows the boundaries but the child feels like she has control of her day, her choices within your parameters. It is exhausting as you have no doubt experienced and read. Just one of those power struggles can zap you, so you have to gather yourself and sort of stay one step ahead by anticipating what the child's reaction is going to be in a certain situation. I am guessing that it may have been easier in olden days when families were on farms, but now that people are altogether in cities and surrounding suburbs, it can be such a dilemma because you have to the best parent to that child and you have to 'fit' into society at large. It is all about balancing everything for the gifted child until the child learns how to balance themselves. You are doing the right thing with a solid sleep schedule. Focus on all of the positives. Don't let anyone make you feel badly if your child can get overstimulated. All of those feelings that she has will be assets to her in her future. Help her to spend her day doing what she loves as long as it figures into the family plan if at all possible. Maybe someone at Davidson knows more info. that can help you. I think you are right on top of it. Hang in there.
