The sub used to be a full time teacher in the school, retired, but has been subbing ever since. The school is truly toxic and I already pulled out DS in the middle of the year. The principal hates us because I had to complain about him to the State and upper level admin. The school falsified another kids' IEP. That is how bad it is. The school that took DS wouldn't take DD because they don't have space in that grade, and she was generally happy there with the regular teacher (before she left to have surgery), who clearly adored her. That teacher was willing to put up with her idiosyncracies for the most part. She did do some odd things like keep her in from recess to finish work, but it was tolerable. I started the process to get her a 504 but realized it wasn't going to work because we don't really know what her issue is or what modifications need to be made. I can't have them do an evaluation because the spec. ed people don't know what they are doing, and if they can't figure it out, they just make things up. Everyone fought me there when I asked for DS to be evaluated last fall, and the spec. ed administration for the district had to get involved and "help" them. We finally got an IEP written but the school wasn't following it or pulling him out for services. So it's a pretty bad situation and I just can't see trying to do anything about DD there. I asked DD if she wants to be homeschooled for the rest of the year and she said no. Yesterday DD said the teacher didn't lecture or scold her at all so maybe things are getting better. I am going to stay on top of things and if I hear about the teacher being on her case I'm going to go in. Dh already went in once and stayed there in the classroom observing for a few hours. DD and her friend said that the teacher was "nice and happy" while Dh was sitting there. Normally she's a yeller. The teacher thinks that she needs to teach DD coping skills to deal with the ADHD. She wrote this an in email: "She is so talented but will struggle if she does not learn to address some of the issues at a personal level." She also wrote this. "DD is a delightful girl with many talents. She is going to struggle with work completion and focus because of her ADHD but I think we have to keep holding her accountable for the work. I know she is capable and she will have to learn adapting skills because this is just how she is. Because she is so bright, I don't think I would be doing her justice if I weren't trying to teach her ways to accommodate her focusing issues." While on the surface there is nothing wrong with that, I think she is taking it too far and trying to "fix" DD, DD senses that the teacher thinks there is something wrong with her and is trying to fix her, and internalizing it.
