I was also in a similar situation last year with DS7 and I can also sympathize. Homework was torture. DS is gifted but his processing speed was 9th percentile and his working memory was in the 50's or 60's. He didn't do anything at school and the teacher's solution was to send it home every night.
Once we had a psych report I took it to the VP and it turns out she had worked in the board's spec ed department and was most helpful. We had an IEP written up which included things like scribing and chunking assignments. Another thing that was helpful in our situation was that we shared some of the info with him (we weren't super specific). He was extremely frustrated that everyone else could write easily and thought he was stupid. The frustration was coming out in all sorts of fun behavior both at home and school.
We also got matched with a better teacher this year and it has been better. The school only wants to focus on the LD and feels differentiation is the answer for gifted but that is our next battle. I'm meeting with them tomorrow to start that discussion.
I don't have much for answers but I can definitely share in the joy that these kids bring
