I've definitely been in your shoes. From the distance of 10 years (my DSs are in high school now), I can say that if I had to go back, I'd just worry less about what the teachers think--about being "that" parent. There is a difference between being the "tiger parent" (who asks, "What recognition can my child receive? What prizes? What honors? Why isn't he pitching/in the gifted program/first chair in the orchestra?") and the concerned parent (who asks, "How is my child doing academically and socially? Is the level of challenge appropriate? Is he making friends?").
When your kid is gifted, IMHO, you have to brace yourself for quite a lot of interaction with the schools. My boys have been to Montessori, to public school, to private school, and now are homeschooled. In every setting (except homeschool! :-)), I have spent large amounts of time talking to teachers and administrators. The best ones "get" one DS or the other and are kind and even delight in them. The worst ones are just clueless.
