I just heard an interesting talk where the speaker mentioned that when we hear the words 'get tough' that is usually a red flag to dig deeper. It perhaps means that we don't actually understand the underlying factors --- he was referring to countries and diplomacy but I wondered if this also applies to parenting.
Your ds needs to do the work, but otoh, digging deeper might help you get to a solution on motivation more quickly. I imagine you've been trying to get to the bottom of the issue, but I would not stop trying even if imposing new limits on your ds are showing some progress.
Is there an issue with friends, bullies, girls? teachers? the school admins? the material? and so on. Does he feel distracted or is his adhd under control? if that is substantially eliminated from this problem, other more common issues may become more obvious.
Is he just trying to spend more time with you? (crazy I know, but possible). How is his emotional state? does he otherwise seem happy?
Best of luck to you.
Last edited by chris1234; 03/03/14 04:46 AM.
