My son has mild sensitive processing disorder that he is hypersensitive to light, sounds, touch and emotion too. He enjoyed playing with friends when he was 18-22m old. But now, he doesn't enjoy playing with them, even his old friends. He said it is too noisy.
I am so worry about his social interaction, as well as his separation anxiety, as i am the only caregiver of him, my parents are not living in U.S. I am so worry that it may be too hard for him to go to preschool by himself when he turns 3.
Most likely the anxiety your son is feeling has nothing to do with the traditional form of separation anxiety mentioned previously nor is it related to what you project as a parent at this stage in your child's life. Some children with SPD may have an INTENSE form of separation anxiety DUE to the emotional regulatory issues associated with SPD - this is beyond your control due to the immaturity of their nervous system and is something that can only be managed through therapeutic intervention, parent education, maturation of the nervous system and the development of coping skills over time by both parents and child.
The primary caregiver is usually the only tether connecting a child with SPD to a place of security when their nervous system can't correctly interpret messages from their senses. It doesn't matter what steps you take to separate or how calm you remain if your child has this "firecracker" response to their environment, so don't blame yourself nor follow the tide of what you think you "should" do.
The second component of this situation is your concern about social skills. What initially appears as a social skills problem and ultimately develops into one is a child's withdrawal (in this case you say that your child avoids noise) from social situations due to sensory over-responsiveness. You mention that your son used to enjoy his friends, but now says they're too loud. That's a very important piece of information! His social skills haven't changed, but his ability to tolerate noise has decreased thus his ability and desire to be around other children (usually a noisy bunch ;)) has also decreased. Perhaps you can find more compatible friends for your son and keep playdates small (1-2 children).
The KEY is picking playmates and their parents wisely - parents that respect your son's sensitivities and also scaffold and coach their children, when needed, through social situations. Give him time to benefit from occupational therapy, and specifically ask your therapist for advice on noise sensitivity. My son has acclimated over time to many noises, but it's still an issue. Preview any potential enrichment classes before taking your son for the dreaded "too many kids, too much noise, too bright" factor, and stick to mommy-and-me instead of drop off for now. Think small and calm classes.
Consult with your OT and read plenty of books about SPD, because the behaviors you see that appear one way may actually mean something quite different. Add in the giftedness and it gets really confusing!
I completely understand your concerns. Don't put any pressure on yourself or son to attend school if now is not the best time. Now may be the time to focus on helping him with the sensory challenges first, so he'll be ready later on for school. I wish you all the best.
Books on SPD:
http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Senso...=1393521410&sr=8-3&keywords=lindsey+bielhttp://www.amazon.com/Out---Sync-Ch...521451&sr=8-1&keywords=out+of+sync+childhttp://www.amazon.com/Sensational-K...3521475&sr=8-1&keywords=sensational+kids
