My reply to OP is here
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....2_5_years_gifted_and_pre.html#Post182773EmeraldCity,
My DD had sensitivity issues to noise and texture until very recently. I never thought of it as a disorder but in retrospect, her symptoms were not all that mild. They did not interfere with her ability to participate in group activities but I was always there and she tends to put on a performance in public only to fall apart at home.
Speaking of falling apart at home, we spent one morning at a play-based preschool with 24 students and 3 teachers. DD did well but when she came home, she was out of it. The following day was probably the worst day we've had together. People told me she'd adjust eventually but it wasn't a chance I was willing to take.
So I definitely hear you. Your DS probably could take so much of it.
It's wonderful that you are able to organize playdates for your DS. I just never could do it consistently so I picked a small nature-based program that tends to attract families who are on the same wave length. I feel like we're on the right track finally and I don't have to worry about school until K.
BTW, my DD eventually grew out of her sensitivities. We were at a restaurant yesterday and the noise level was driving me crazy so I wanted to leave but DD wanted to stay and didn't seem to be bothered at all. She also grew out of her sleep problems. I know it might not put your mind at east much but it can get better.
