Once again, thank you everyone. After reading all of this and thinking a lot I've decided to look right away for some place for him to finish the year and work very hard to find something right for him next year.
I specifically chose Montessori to avoid the play based stuff because I was sure in a room full of toys and kids he would be lost. His play skills aren't very good and I thought all of the learning material at his school would really appeal to him. And it has, he just can't use it as he hasn't had lessons on it yet. I was also worried that in a play based environment he would just do non functional stuff in his own space and not really get anything out of it socially or academically.
I'm definitely going to look into a preschool like you used DeeDee. My son does have an IEP, which at this point has gotten so huge the print is now bible sized, lol. The IU has flat out refused any IU preschool placement for him as they don't have the right fit. I guess since preschool is not officially a required grade they don't have to provide anything? They basically said find a local preschool and we will see him there. They also said that all the behavior problems usually disappear when Mom is out of the room. That worked out well obviously.
We have not had any success getting any ABA therapy. We have been told that he is too high functioning to need it. Wraparound was so hard to get to begin with and I think that they think it's ridiculous that I think my son needs services. Not his therapists themselves, the doc who does the recommendations and evaluations.
My son looks pretty normal in a 30 minute observation. In fact I think that most people who work with him doubt his diagnosis. I don't think there is a lot of experience with highly verbal borderline kids. During his initial evaluations he scored right at the cutoff on everything, on the autism side on half and on the NT side on the other half. Even I have trouble figuring him out sometimes. He can tell us all about level planes and angles needed to build elaborate structures, but he rarely even asks for food when he is hungry.
As his mom I just want to see him happy and successful at whatever he chooses to do. Thank you all so much for your insight and advice, it's great to be able to talk to others who have already been through this rather than just "experts."
