Cynthialcy, welcome.
I've been on a preschool search for over a year and we've finally found the right school for DD, fingers crossed. The owner is the lead teacher and she and I share the same philosophy about early childhood education. Luckily for DD, she is much better at implementing it than I am. When we visited, she and I were talking but during the whole time, I could see she was constantly keeping an eye on all the children and regardless of what they were up to, she was very calm and positive. My point being, yes, the right environment, curriculum, and materials make a huge difference; I love that the new school is an outdoor garden preschool and the focus is on developing social skills and learning about sustainable living practices but it all comes down to having the right person behind it.
I worry about DD's social skills too. She makes friends easily and get along well with others (she is an extrovert who can be quite charming when she wants to be) but she is starting to realize that she is not like most children she meets. It's one of the reasons why we chose to send her to a play-based preschool so she could have opportunities to connect with peers in a collaborative, multi-age (3-7) learning environment.
Not all 3 year olds are ready for full-time preschool and I personally think it'd be okay to continue with the coop preschool until your DS is ready to start a drop-off program although that might not exactly be his preference right now. My DD was quite into educational toys until she turned 3. Then she became that child who can play for hours as long as she had a large empty box. I try to nurture her strengths by staying out of her way but I get more involved in the areas of her relative weakness.
Good luck with your preschool search.
